That Damn Headboard
by Danubio
Summary: Miley and Lilly keep getting interrupted.


It was the usual scene for now eighteen year olds Miley and Lilly—holed up in Miley's room sitting up at 2 a.m. with nothing but the glow of TV to illuminate their laughing faces. Lilly was sprawled out on Miley's lanky body, which happily wrapped itself around Lilly. Lilly's head rested on Miley's chest which rose and fell with every gentle breath Miley took. Admittedly, Miley tried to control her breathing to a minimum so as not to disturb the peaceful Lilly slowly lulling to sleep on her body; not that any conscious control was needed because Lilly made Miley involuntarily stop breathing sometimes altogether anyway.

Miley smiled as she looked down at Lilly who grumbled incoherently and nuzzled her neck into the crook of Miley's neck. Miley lent down to place a kiss on the human blanket, but was surprised when instead of her forehead, Miley found Lilly's lips on her own. Lilly grinned with sleepy eyes and said "we just watched a whole marathon of Top Model. I'm horny and you're hot and _so_ convenient…" she said before she wiggled herself awkwardly and slung her arms around Miley's neck and proceeded to continue the kiss.

Miley smirked and complied by pulling Lilly up farther on her lap and kissing her a little more deeply. Miley moved her arms back, slowly trying to position themselves from a sitting up position to laying down, but Miley's arm had bumped the headboard, causing her to whimper a little from the pain. Lilly smirked more, thinking her tongue was the cause of the little cry. Feeling more confident (because usually Lilly's the one getting ravaged in broom closets and such) Lilly pushed down the better a little forcefully. Miley looked up at her hungrily but still a little weakly because of the recent bump the elbow. This coaxed Lilly into going down quickly and attempting to steal another passionate kiss…but being Lilly, she got somewhat overexcited and bumped the top of her head on the same headboard. A guttural groan escaped Lilly's throat from the unexpected hard contact while Miley couldn't stifle her mad giggles. Lilly glared at Miley while rubbing her head.

"Seriously, what the hell, it's like god just doesn't want me to get lucky tonight or something." Lilly complained overdramatically.

Miley scoffed playfully. "You sure that's the work of god and not just your clumsiness?"

"Hey, I'll have you know I took ballet when I was three. Madam Beauverie said I was pretty good, too." Lilly explained with a haughty finger pointing at Miley. Miley nodded in mock understanding and interest. "Until I…kind of twirled into the boombox and sent some kid spiraling down the stairs. But everything up until that point was raw talent!"

"Lilly, you have the grace of a lumberjack." Miley combated calmly but with a small smirk.

"Not my fault that some gay kid in a tutu was Plieing next to the stairwell. Who has a ballet studio on the fifth floor anyway?! Idiots, that's who," Lilly defended, sure of her argument.

Miley smiled and shook her head. "Okay, Lilly. Sure."

Lilly sighed. "You know, we would be making out instead of having this trivial argument about ballet. Stupid headboard, distracting my Miley!" Lilly cried once again dramatically, while she flung her arm in an attempt to get back at the thing. …unfortunately for Lilly, headboards don't feel pain, and humans do, so all she caused was an added pain to her small head injury.

Miley just laughed out loud once more. "Despite the fact that _you_ were the one who started the whole conversation about ballet in the first place, I respect your differences and understand that sometimes, Lilly…you're just a smidgeon retarded."

Lilly frowned again and shook her head slowly. "Why must you kill my self-esteem?"

"Because you're cute when you're wallowing in self-pity." Miley said simply, and it was the truth. Miley took this as an opportunity to regain her dominant role out of the two.

She flipped Lilly so that Miley was now on top. She leant down to continue what was interrupted one too many times tonight by things undeserving of Lilly's attention, like incidental ballet memories and romance-hating headboards.

--

The same night. The clock that originally read 2 am at the start of this story now flashed 3 am in bright green block letters. The TV replayed paid programming infomercials about a shifty weight loss pill and some Swedish knife set that nobody really needs. The TV had been muted by a grumpy Lilly some thirty minutes ago, who said the voice of John Basedow running on the latest Bowflex treadmill was distracting to their makeout session.

Miley ran her tongue horizontally across Lilly's exposed collarbone. Lilly groaned again and the frantic grabbing at Miley's back was her way of urging to continue. Miley gladly obliged by kissing every inch of Lilly's neck, which pulsated beyond belief from the heat of close contact and the…'physical activity' taking place. Lilly groaned louder once again and in a swift spasm of the leg, kicked and somehow propelled herself once again towards that headboard that just seemed to be ruining everything tonight. Lilly squeaked in pain and as she was about to quickly turn and glare at the wooden demon; something fell off the board and onto the lap of Lilly.

"Look, the headboard's fighting back, Miley. It's throwing books at us."

Miley chuckled and took the book from Lilly's lap.

"It's our old yearbook from freshman year." She said, studying the cover quickly and then flipping to random pages.

"Awesome, just what I need, a reminder of how short and uncool I was back then. Miley, just put that away and kiss me instead." Lilly batted her eyelashes and put out her lips for Miley to take. All she got was a palm in her face, though, lightly pushing her to shut up.

"God, oversexed much?" Miley said, shaking her head cutely. "Hey look, I found your picture."

Lilly laughed dryly and moved behind Miley to look over her shoulder at her highschool memories photocopied onto paper.

"Eww, nice sweater, Urkle," Lilly unenthusiastically remarked to her picture-self from four years ago.

Miley laughed and then pointed to her picture a few people before Lilly's picture.

"Aww, lookit me, so angelic." Miley said, flashing a pearly grin.

"You look the same only now you're taller and much more likely to jump my bones at any given moment."

"Pretty much…" Miley said, leaning in to prove Lilly's analysis correct.

Suddenly Miley's door burst open, a dark figure standing there menacingly. A pillow was thrown hard across the room and landed right in the face of Lilly. She eeped as she fell backward onto the bed.

Jackson stared at the two as angrily as one could with half-lidded eyes.

"Would you guys shut up? It's 3:30 and some people actually have things to do, like oh say, very important college projects that some people also put off til the last minute?" he demanded in a thick Southern drawl.

Lilly pulled herself back into sitting Indian style on Miley's bed. "Don't blame us for your procrastination problems, chief." Lilly said somewhat condescending, which just earned her another pillow to the face.

Miley shook her head again. The two were already acting like siblings, it was ridiculous.

"Jackson, stop pretending you were actually doing something important, close out your porn site and go to bed, okay?" Miley said, a little harshly but it had to be done to get the boy out of her room. Besides, not like it was a total lie anyway.

Jackson's tired eyes widened as much as they could for it being 3:30 in the morning as he slowly backed out of his little sister's room. He closed the door behind him and traipsed down the stairs, brooding over the embarrassment.

As soon as the boy was out of earshot, the two girls cracked up laughing.

"It's kind of disturbing that you would know that about your brother," Lilly remarked, inbetween laughs.

"The boy needs to learn to lock his door." Miley said, shrugging lightly.

Lilly laughed and piped up, "Guess it's a Stewart tradition to barge into unlocked rooms then. So just as a precaution…" she began, as she leapt off the bed and headed in a jog towards the door in one swift movement. Locking it and then jiggling the knob to make sure it was really closed, Lilly turned back to her girlfriend to continue once again what was interrupted so many times that night.

**A/N: I think this is my longest oneshot yet, reviews please.**


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